5 Reasons for Keeping My Bucket List

Around the time I started blogging, I also started a bucket list - a list of things I want to do, see, or accomplish with my life.  I had loved the idea for a while, and needed all the reason I could to embrace a new season of my life.  I had recently lost a lot - friends I'd had for nearly a decade, the kitty I'd had for longer, and the path I was planning on going down in my life.  I needed a general sense of direction, no matter how crazy or far out-there some of my ideas seemed to be.  I needed something to look forward to.  I needed even a small thing to keep me honest-to-goodness living.

I purchased a small notebook and began filling it with things I wanted to do.  Every time I would think of something new, I wrote it down as the next number on my list.  Whenever I completed an item, I'd put a date next to it.  There really haven't been that many I've managed to cross off just yet, but they've already taught me a lot. 

Here are my top reasons for having a Bucket List.

1.) Face Your Fear
What would you do, if fear was not holding you back?  We are not called to live in a state of fear, but freedom.  I don't want to be afraid all of the time.  I'm finding that certain things I was afraid to do, are also things I would love to experience.  Having this list reminds me not to let fear keep me from living the life I want to live.

2.) Purpose and Vision
God has a purpose for each and every life.  He didn't make one of me, different from every other billion person on the planet, by accident.  Wouldn't it be a shame to let life slip by while we live lethargically? Where there is no vision, the people perish: let's keep a purpose for our lives, with Christ as the ultimate vision.

3.) Make Every Moment Count
What knows how long we have?  From this season of life to literal breathing and living, it could change at any time.  Don't wait around assuming you have more.  We should get excited to live our calling!

4.) Encouragement to Learn
I think it's safe to say that we do not want to be called foolish.  Pay attention, study, ask questions, try something new - there is so much to learn to both help and bring us joy through life.

5.) See the Glory of God
Yes, the world is fallen.  But there is still beauty to be found.  God did not leave us, His creation, with no way out of misery.  To the child of God, we know something better is coming, which to me only encourages the lovely here.  Unlike so many of the lost, we know this is not all there is: in every moment of beauty we can see a glimpse of God's glory, and be filled with the power of hope for what is yet to come.  How inspiring, to see God's power and might, and wonder at it through the places I wish to see in His Earth.


The truth is, I have a lot I still want to accomplish!  I want to experience life, not being held back by fear. I want to make a difference in the world, to touch people and be a blessing wherever I go.  I want to be seen as someone who is kind and classy, courageous and full of life.  I want to serve and be helpful, to use my gifts to bring happiness.  I want find love, to be it and show it wherever I am and however I feel. It's not like I want a lot out of myself or anything, right?

So what is the point?

Having this little list reminds me to live my one life fully and abundantly for the glory of God.  But it also keeps one more thing in check:

 No matter how many adventures I have, how many people know me, or what I accomplish, there is one thing that I want to encompass all of this.  In the end, I want people to look at me and see that I have a heart like Christ.  I want them to say that my heart looks like His.

Whatever God calls me to do, I want to be right there in His will serving Him.  I plan to spend my life loving Jesus, and hopefully, at the end of my days, people will look over my life, and say Yes, her heart was like His.

22 - Miserable and Magical

It's happened.  I've finally started to feel older.  Has it really been a year since my last birthday? was a real thought that occurred a few weeks ago when I turned 22.  Right alongside it is the slightly panicked mental commentary screaming "What are you doing with your life?" 

What have I done? Who have I helped? What adventures have I had? How will I make a difference? Will I be remembered? Is there any part of me not being used to bring glory to God?

Now, with all of these thoughts taking up more than their fair share of demanding space in my head, I want to share Twenty-Two life lessons I learned by the time I turned Twenty-Two.  Many of these are reminders to myself of things I need to work on -  I may have acquired the head knowledge, but the actual practice thereof requires, well, practice.

1. Put God First - Life is not about us.  We were not given life to live it selfishly.  If your relationship with God is right, your relationship with everyone else will be right.  If God is not what you are living for, the rest of these are almost pointless.

2. Keep a Balance - I'm putting this one so close to the beginning, because it encompasses so much of life! At the very beginning, God gave darkness and light, water and land, work and rest. Too much or too little of one thing can wear us down.  We were designed with intelligence and purpose to live a balanced lifestyle, with the exception that all of our heart should be devoted to Jesus.

3. Cherish Family - We're young, and many of us are still blessed to have our families with us! Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, many people we won't have with us forever.  Cherish the time you get to spend together now.

4. Choose Friendships Wisely - I'm not here to say you should only choose perfect friends, or we would all live lonely lives.  But there are some people who fill your mind with the world, encourage your sin, or simply bring you down.  Be careful how much time is spent with these people, for it will affect you.

5. Forgive - While we're on the topic of relationships, don't forget that people make mistakes, and bad choices, and hurt you.  But it is not our job to punish them.  God is just and He will take care of that.  We are called to forgiveness.  We are not above sin.  Nor are we above forgiving ourselves.  Once repentance has taken place between us and God, he doesn't want us to stop living because we are not worthy to serve Him.  No one is, but He chose us anyway, which is the beauty of Grace.

6. Love Yourself Too - Don't take this to mean I think we should be selfish or vain or thoughtless.  Just remember that God has you here for a reason.  If He was done with your earthly life, He wouldn't leave you here.  You are made in His image for His glory exactly how He wanted.

7. Find Some Projects and Hobbies - You have interests and passions and pursuits.  Look into them! Do it now, while there is time to pursue them.  You never know what God will use as a ministry. And even if nothing seems to come of it, does it make you happy? Because that is something.

8. Have Courage - Adulthood can be scary! Sometimes it is nerve wracking to do even simple tasks that, before, you never had to do. Or at least you didn't have to do them on your own. Sometimes life gets hard, and it requires bravery just to get out of bed and face the day.

9. Be Kind - You might not always feel like it, but honestly, that doesn't give us an excuse.  It just means we have to work harder.  Using the simple but so often forgotten "Thank you" can make a world of difference.  Be helpful, compassionate, and thoughtful of others. This one is so important to me.  A show of kindness in a person is absolutely beautiful.

10. Smile Often - A smile can make a world of difference.  It can save a bad hair day, get you discounts and to the front of the line, make you feel more confident, and encourage friendships.

11. Pick Your Battles - Being a nanny for over four years has taught me this. You will wear yourself out striving for perfection in the material, and sometimes we need to lighten up a little! Life will go on if things are always done exactly how we want.  Sometimes other people have different ideas than us, and there are times when we don't need to insert our opinion.

12. Take The Adventure - We are surrounded by a beautiful world.  There is so much to see and do and learn.  If you have an opportunity, take it! Who knows what the future holds, and when or if you will get another chance.

13. Find Your Style - Who are you? What do your clothes say about you? Like it or not, people make first impressions, and what you wear will tip them off to who you are.  People obsess over stereotypes and judgement, but the truth is, we dress the way we do for a reason. How do you want to be seen? Dress for the person you want to be.

14. Be Aware of Foods - Different foods affect different people different ways.  What we eat can make a huge difference both in how we look and how we feel.  Pay attention to what you eat and how you feel; it may be worth it to cut out a few foods for your overall health.

15. Spend (and save) Wisely - Most of us simply don't have an endless supply of cash.  And now we are faced with more expenses than before.  We'll come to the point when we have to decide if we really need that next item on our wish list. But here's the thing; life is short.  If you have the money to do what is required of you, and keep some back in savings, then who's to say you shouldn't have another pair of shoes, trip to the bookstore, or whatever makes you happy.  Decide what you want - would you rather save the money something bigger, or are you content with the progress of your savings enough to splurge on the smaller item? One last thing: remember the things that will be connected to memories are worth spending more on, because we all want to look back on our life and remember the trips and vacations and dances and holidays, not how many Starbucks lattes we had in the year 2016.

16. Learn to Say NO - This goes two ways.  Firstly, there will be people and things that tempt you in the wrong direction. Whatever this may be, we have to learn to say no now, or it will only get harder in the future.  Secondly, I cannot do everything on my own. I love to help people, but sometimes it simply isn't for me to do.  We need to evaluate our time with God and listen carefully for his guidance in how to direct our schedule. Sometimes this means saying no, even to good things.

17. Be Gracious Enough to Say Yes - The above mentioned "no" doesn't give us the excuse to stop giving of ourselves.  Sometimes we are tired or busy or run down, and someone needs us.  Saying we need to take care of ourselves too shouldn't be the escape from doing what we simply don't feel like doing.  We aren't called to only help when it is easy or convenient.  Sometimes, we give up to easy, and too soon, when God has more work He wants us to do.

18. Don't Stop Learning - However you want to, keep learning! Read books, take a class on something, try a Pinterest tutorial, visit someplace new, go to a museum or theatre. Just don't stop because you've graduated.

19. Make Informed Decisions - Reading news headlines through your e-mail doesn't make you informed. There are unfortunately many deceptions out there, and we need to know what we are reading, watching, or listening to is accurate.  We need to make an effort not to simply shout our opinions at the world when we don't know what we are talking about, thereby simply shouting someone else's opinion.

20. Laugh at Yourself - There is no point getting worked up over little mistakes.  We worry so much over what people think about us.  I have had so much more relief in what I say, do and wear, when I'm not worried about criticism of other people.  If whatever I am saying, doing or wearing fits in with God's standards for my life, then I really don't have to worry about what other people think of me.

21. Don't Rush through this Stage of Life - I was the kid who couldn't wait to be a year older.  Now, I want to enjoy everything I can before I find myself unable to do so.  In spite of this, I still find myself looking for the next best thing. Marriage, children, a house, general success, to be noticed.  If I'm not careful, I will miss this too.  I don't want to spend my twenties looking for the things that will come whenever and ifever God chooses.

22. Have Fun - Sure, life is busy, but if we don't choose to take time for fun now, what makes you think life will magically get less busy on its own? Jesus came so we could have Life, and to have it ABUNDANTLY.  So live.

Striving for Something

"You know there's a purpose for your life.  You long to live a life of true significance, and as you consider your life, you feel the pressure to do something -whatever that may be - and do it quickly.

"We've sensed it too, and we understand the ache that you feel. More than any other generation in history, ours is a generation that feels weight to do something, be somebody, make a difference, and then publish it to the world.  But striving in our own power only leaves us emptier than before and keeps us battling for worthiness.  It does nothing to quiet the longing we have to live the way God created us to live."

--from Tapestry Magazine website (April 2016)

Something about this resonated deeply with me.  Mostly, I think, because it is true.  There is a longing in my heart to do something.  To be someone.  Beside the longing is the fear that time is running out.  I can't be the only one feeling this invisible pressure.  The problem is, when we don't become as important as desired, thoughts of failure begin to settle in  Either we can't find anything meaningful to do, or what we tried didn't work out how we thought it should. How can the motivation to change the world and the acceptance of failure reside in the same body - and continue to do so over and over again with so many of this generation  More important, perhaps: How can it be fixed?

The things many try - work harder; never give up; follow your dreams - may be good advice, but they leave something out.  Even pursuing something with your whole heart can leave you feeling empty or unnoticed. I think the reason for this is that we chose what to do; we chose what kind of difference we wanted to make and then we chose how to go about it, striving in our own power to accomplish our task.  Maybe the problem is us.  Maybe it is our fault we feel empty.

We are burdened to do something and make a difference.  We long to find God's purpose for our lives.  Unfortunately, I wonder just how many of us ask God what our purpose is.  I fear even less of us actually listen for a response. I know I myself have been guilty of this.  I have told God what I want to do and asked for His help.  While this in and of itself may not be wrong, how many times have I missed a better opportunity because I did the planning?

We live in a world of alarm clocks and deadlines, of day planners and social media.  There is the pressure to Do Something right now, and tell everyone about it. Again, these things on their own are not bad.  A scheduled life is good, so long as you haven't lost peace through your plans or run out of time for God.  We don't want to live so in the moment that we have no foundation for the future.  But nor do we want to try so hard to map out our plan for changing the world, that we forget to ask the One who created the world how we should do it.

The more we try to make a difference on our own, the more the potential for failure hangs over us.  We are so often left feeling unworthy or useless when we look at our lives, compare them to others around us or in the media, and feel something is lacking.  God didn't create us to feel pointless and hopeless.  He designed us in His image, and sent His Son Jesus to save us.  Because of Him, we are worthy.  But only through Him.  If our worth and place in eternity comes solely through Christ, what makes us think that our worth on this life should come from anyplace less, or anyone else - including ourselves.  As Christians, we depend on God for eternity; don't you think we can depend on Him for this life as well?

We are too often trying to do something big and life-changing without listening to the one who changed our lives.  We know God has a plan and purpose for us.  I want to live out that plan everyday, for His glory.  Maybe that means taking a step back. Asking God what He wants me to do, and then listening for an answer! Asking Him what kind of difference I am called to make, and how to pursue it.  Asking how much of the world He wants me to change, and being content and courageous, no matter how big or small that portion of the world may seem to me. God views things different than man - He sees the heart of men, the past and future, the ultimate goal.  His will is always good, and always great.  Don't be deceived by man's perspective of big or small.  Don't be afraid if God ends up calling you somewhere or to do something that you think is too small, or too big!  He absolutely knows what He is doing with you.  Follow God's will for your life.  Make God your new passion - then follow your dream; serving Him.  Work hard - serving Him.  And never give up serving Him.  That is how I want to do something - For Him.

Rested but Weary

"If my energy is spent or I'm just not into the work, the first thing I'm doing is to hold it up to the Lord.  Am I doing the wrong thing? Am I managing my time poorly?  It's okay to feel tired sometimes, but I shouldn't be weary if I'm doing what He's called me to do.  If He's called me, He's equipped me."   - Tapestry Magazine, issue 1

If my energy is spent, the first thing I'm doing is trying to get some extra sleep, or reaching for some (probably unhealthy) food to keep me going.  I lose patience and cry far more easily. Sometimes I complain, or constantly zone out.  Sometimes I'll talk to God and ask Him to get me through it.  These are my responses with being tired or weary.  My first response should be to go straight to God when I'm tired.  But when I'm weary, day in and day out, there might be a deeper problem to address...

First, what am I doing?  How and when am I doing it? Am I in God's will?  Life is so full, with so many responsibilities, requirements, and rushing.  Do I stop and consider God's plan in the midst of my own scheduling? I get tired of hearing people say how the enemy is attacking them, how they are too tired to participate, that they are too busy to come.  People have so much going on, they add to it constantly, then complain when they grow weary.  And here I am doing the same.  Then we push on and often grow more weary.  And more frustrated at exhaustion or failure.  The catch is, if we are doing things - even good things - without working with God and through His purpose, what is actually going to succeed on the level we anticipate?  Why do we try to do things on our own, then become surprised when it doesn't work out?  When weary in daily activities, the first thing to be done is lay them before God.  Ask Him what He would have us do with each task, project, or commitment.  Does my lifestyle need to change, are my priorities straight, or do I need to drop something completely?  God has equipped me to do what He has called.

As I read through Tapestry's article, something in the back of my mind bothered me: don't Christians, in God's will, ever become truly weary? But if He has equipped us, how is this possible? Then I realized, this was written with the author's assumption that your relationship with God is already correct.

This brings me to my second point, the second thing we should do when we feel certain we are in God's will, and yet still find ourselves in a constant state of weariness: check our relationship with God.  It may be deeper than making sure your actions and plans line up with God's.  It may be your heart.  We need to make sure our heart is lined up with God.  Perhaps this should be done before checking our actions, but I fear few people would think to check their hearts first.

 Anymore, it is hard enough to get people to go to church even once a week, let alone read their Bible every day, forget getting something out of it.  It is no wonder we have a nation of weary Christians.  Even if you are acting inside His will and are in His place for you, if you are not abiding in Him and cultivating that relationship, you will grow weary.  We need both: to have a growing and faithful relationship with God, as well as the knowledge and conviction that we are living and acting inside His will.

This means take it to God.  Give it all to God.  Your plans, your worries, your obligations, your frustrations. Your family time, church time, personal time, work time, sleep time.  Are you sure you are managing this the way God would have you? Am I certain that I have talked to God about what I am doing? Beyond that, do I know that my relationship with God is where it should be? Have I spent any time with Him lately?  If the answer to any of these questions is no, I think that is our problem. Going to God, and fixing what is wrong, will be our way out of the constant state of weariness.

Break in Roadway: When God Interrupts Your Path

I think it's safe to say that most of us have been there.  Traveling down the road you so carefully planned, prepared, and prayed about, when suddenly the path starts to crumble.  Maybe it had been slowly falling to pieces, or perhaps it broke off overnight.  Either way, life's future doesn't look quite the same as it did yesterday, or last month, or last year, or even in the last decade.  Then sure enough, the infamous question slips out (or sometimes maybe some of us scream it out) : What do I do now?

On more than one occasion recently, I have been talking with a friend, only to realize that I have no idea what my next plan is.  I have a little over a year to figure out what comes next.  I know what I've always wanted, what I had always been planning for in the back of my head, but life isn't unfolding the way I thought it would.  

When I a kid, I knew I didn't want to go to college.  To keep things in perspective, I also didn't want to go on the 5th grade camping trip or to the cheerleaders' slumber party.  That being said, it's really not surprising my eight year old self had no intentions of living in a dorm, even if it was 10+ years down the road. I wanted a nice house, a nice husband, and many kids.  While my friends planned their lives and careers and college choices, I always came back to what I considered a simple but happy life.  I thought this was what God had called me to do.  I thought that all of my gifts and desires had pointed in this direction. 

I still believe this.  But my life has changed.  This is my forth year working as a nanny; next year is looking like my last, which leaves fall of 2017 completely open. I'm quickly reaching that point; the place where you have had your life planned out, but you're reaching the end.  It will be time for something new.  Any change within one's current stage of life can be scary, as is moving to a completely to phase.  The whole world is in front of you, but what exactly is it that God wants you to do?

It can be hard to stay content, difficult to listen to His guidance, when there is a gaping hole in the middle of your road.  Those around me are engaged, married, expecting babies or already holding them.  This was the life I wanted, leaving me to ask God "Why? When? What do I have to do? or What am I doing wrong?"

Right now, I don't know what God has for me.  There are so many reasons that God could be holding back, but He is good. He is constant.  He is sovereign.  The truth is, I didn't plan on this.  But God did.  There is a reason I am where I am;  a reason I am still single, have had a job in child care, have stayed in this town and church.  I believe that I am on the path God wants for me, and if that is the case, then there is a reason there is a break in my roadway.  I may not know what it is yet, but I have to trust God to show me in His time.  When I was lonely, He gave me friends, although from places I wasn't expecting. When I wanted to use my gifts for Him, He gave me project after project.  When I wanted to be a blessing, He gave me people in need.  I have to trust now, when I want to follow Him, He'll show me the path.

I really don't know where life is going to take me.  I don't know what God wants me to do.  But there is so much in this world I want to see and do, so many people out there who I could be called help and love.  The truth? I'm scared of what will come next; but the bigger truth is that Jehovah Shalom, the God of Peace, will lead me through it.

The Lunar Eclipse

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - Sarah Williams

I realize I am behind in my blogging, so this actual event has long passed, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to share my photos (albeit untouched and a bit shaky) from the lunar eclipse.  There is something beautiful about a rare phenomenon of creation; something you stay up for, wait for, search for.  Watching the moon, as it is slowly covered in shadows, reminds us of the powerful hope we are given in Christ.  We are promised the light will return.  

Liebster Blog Award

A couple months back, my blog was nominated for an award! Well, less of an award and more of a get-to-know-you survey, it's true, but fun nonetheless. I have Sophia Marie from Teens Live For Jesus to thank for my little opportunity here. Hurray for her finding me and liking my blog! Life has been a little bit crazy due to extensive house cleaning (more on that in a soon-to-come post), bouts of illness, and my first ever [failing] attempt to potty train a two-year-old, so I am only now getting to this.  "This" being the Liebster Blog Award.  Liebster is German, in fact, for dearest, and as such is fitting for such an award which is used to expose your blog to other blogger friends who potentially and probably have similar interest.  Sounds fun, yeah?

Here are the rules:

~Thank and link back to the person who nominated you.
~List 11 facts about yourself.
~Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
~Nominate 9 bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers.
~Ask them 11 questions.
~Let them know about the nomination.

Eleven Facts Abouts Me

1. Summer is my favorite.

2. I recently acquired a cloche hat.  I must say, I adore it.

3. Rebecka watering the camels is probably the story in the Bible that has most inspired me.

4. I recently starting teaching a mini preschool class at the homeschool co-op my Mama runs.  Such fun!

5. Robert Pierre is my favorite Christian artist.  I can put in one of his C-Ds and not cringe at any of the songs.  It's a wonderful feeling.

6. My favorite book of the Bible is Proverbs.

7. I have hazel eyes.

8. Lemons. I love lemons.

9. Sometimes three cups of tea before noon is necessary.

10. I like to listen to books before I fall asleep.

11. Rapunzel is my favorite Disney Princess


Now for me to answer questions

1. What time of day do you look forward to most?

Dinner time.  My family has a bit of a strange practice, in which we eat out dinner in front of the T.V.  We watch various shows on Netflix together, and they tend to seep into our everyday life.  Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time, The X-Files, Monk...the list goes on.  It leads to so many other activities and conversation!  Although, bedtime is also a favorite time of day.

2. What’s your favorite genre in fiction?

I dabble.  Seriously, I'll read little bits of (almost) everything.  If Fairy Tales are a genre, that would probably be my favorite.  If I had to pick.

3. What sport do you like most, if any?

Ever seen Princess Diaries?  My hand-eye coordination, is zero.  I like riding horses, ice skating, rock climbing, and getting everyone out of the house in time for school.  Listed in increasing difficulty and exhursion levels.

4. What’s the funniest thing you heard (or did) today?

My mother, sister, and I watched Moms' Night Out.  We all laughed so hard, bringing on tears and headaches and coughs from residual colds.  It was worth it.

5. Do you/did you like being a teenager?

It had wonderful and horrible times.  In less than a month I'll be turning twenty and officially leaving the teenage stage of my life (scary!) and I must admit I'm looking forward to it.  I'm ready for a new stage in life, but don't want to forget everything I've learned these past seven years.  Being sixteen was probably my favorite year, although recently I have been discovering some life truths first hand.  It's taking a little while to put them into action, but I feel like my life is slowly getting better as i learn how to rely on God.

6. Who is your favorite author?

I love many, many authors.  The one who has probably stuck with me longest would be Shannon Hale.  She truly wrote books that touched me.

7. Do you play any musical instruments?

I play piano casually, and I like to sing when given opportunity.

8. How many hours a week do you spend in front of the computer (approximately)?

Too many?

9. Do you believe music relieves stress? Do books do a better job?

I believe they can be equal.  It would depend on the person, of course, but both help me.  If I am in a good book I will go to that first.

10. What’s your favorite color?

Blue.  Lovely, peaceful, personal, bright, blue

11. You’ve been given three work-free child-free chore-free study-free hours. What are you going to do?

So many tempting options!  Read, mindlessly surf Pinterest, catch up on important things...  I do love those free hours!

Nominations

Alright...now I'm going to break the rules slightly (sorry!)  I don't exactly have 9 bloggers to nominate, so I'm to pick two;  Kelsi from Messy Bits since she was kind enough to comment on my blog recently,and Kayla from Dancing Flames since she was following my blog even when it as [more] boring! But, as asking eleven questions just for these two girls to answer seems a bit superfluous, I would love to reuse the questions Sophia Marie asked me! I want to hear your answers to these questions too!  They definitely got me thinking. :)

Thank you again for choosing me!  Even though I've spent countless weeks getting this post together...  What fun!

The Secret Life of a Babysitter

The Long Winter

“October extinguished itself in a rush of howling winds and driving rain and November arrived, cold as frozen iron, with hard frosts every morning and icy drafts that bit at exposed hands and faces.” 

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

It began snowing in October, on my 19th birthday.  It was a strangely beautiful day; quiet and light and peaceful, also quick and hot and fun. From talking on the phone to laughing to reading - from the warm light of the lamps to the red blanket to thoughtful birthday gifts - from the comfortable black dress I bought to wear that day to feeling happy to looking forward to the impending winter - winter came early.  

The cold air came in and hardly left.  I thought it was a lovely birthday gift, but the cold left it's mark and hasn't quite disappeared even now.  The brisk air I looked forward to lingers, the snow storms have been many, leaving myself a weary traveler through the icy season.  It was not the winter I anticipated; much longer and colder and  far more slippery.  I am ever so ready to see the sun again.

Born of cold and winter air

And mountain rain combining!

This icy force both foul and fair

Has a frozen heart worth mining!

Cut through the heart, cold and clear!

Strike for love and strike for fear!

There's beauty and there's danger here

Split the ice apart!

Beware the frozen heart...

- Frozen Heart, Disney's Frozen

Days Like These

Many of us girls are well versed in princess movies.  I came home from work the other day to find my sister watching Princess Diaries.  The movie was halfway over but I joined her, wrapped in a blanket and curled up on the couch whilst browsing Pinterest and the Blogging world mindlessly.  I started watching at about the scene here, when Princess Mia looks up, saying, "Was that my fault?" All of her efforts just fell apart, and she's so tired...

It seems that is my life lately.  People know and understand when you say, "Oh, it's just been one of those day." They nod and say to themselves, "Oh, one of those days." They let it go.  But what happens when those days just keep happening?  The dishes break, people get annoyed, the kids cry, stuff is everywhere.  And all the time thinking, "Was that my fault?" -- "Don't cry over spilled milk," it has been said.  "But it's everywhere!!!" I want to say, as I wipe down the floor and table. Again.

So maybe I average 3 cups of tea per day.  But it's oh so lovely and keeps you going through these oh so cold days.  Maybe I don't eat enough, but I'll make another cup of tea, and maybe have another apple to make up for it. 

Some days it's filling journals, taking deep breaths, curling up with a book and hiding.  Some days it's baking then cleaning the kitchen until nothing else can be found to wash because thinking, feeling, just isn't an option -  Scarlett O'haraing it: I'll think of that tomorrow. Trying to eat healthy, or wondering if one can live off donuts and french fries.

Yeah, it hurts.  Keep going.  So pour another cup of tea, take another deep breath.  Snuggle with that kitty and curl up under that fleece blanket.  Check another book out of the library.  Try a new recipe.  Go shopping.  Pull out the old favorite hoodie and wear it everywhere.  Or pull out your best dress and wear it confidently.  Eat Nutella.  And maybe one more cup of tea...

 These days are hard.  But it's gonna be okay.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. -  1 Corinthians 15:58

For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me.  Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me. - Psalm 40:12-13

My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. - Psalm 73:26